You tell me which is the truth and which is a lie. I may or may not confirm if you are correct. You may or may not be correct with any guess. I may or may not have put two truths and a lie into every statement. Parse at your own risk. I write under a secret name for a little known site with an assumed identity. It’s all very hush hush. When I have a cold, I eat exclusively Chinese food. Egg drop soup? Chicken fried rice? Crab Rangoon?
I have a friend who lives in a fearful situation. We have had several amazing conversations about how much she does not want to admit that her situation has to change, and that she has to change it. She has taken steps forward and backward, knowing that neither place is where she wants to be. Now she finds herself sapped and exhausted, her creative well dry. Fight or flight, the human fear response, means, when threatened, you defend either by standing up in defiance or running away to stay safe.
I was the child of a difficult situation. I write most frequently about abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, and survival. However, I take care to infuse everything I write with the glow of hope that I learned from the first person who decided to interrupt the cycle: my mother. It may seem strange that I can write about physical and emotional trials and gratefulness in the same breath, but the truth is I am grateful. My experiences helped create who I am today. I am strong, full of courage and I
Beige. That’s the color I’m seeing. You are not anxious. You are full on terrorized. You have no middle ground— If you speak and don’t get it exactly right the blowback will be fast, and from every angle. Decide where you want to belong. Forge your path there. People terrify me. And I’m not saying I want you to be afraid— I want you to give each fear it’s own sterile place. brutally, surgically remove the cancer, use radiation, –whatever you need— then leave it. Once you aren’t thundering from