by Thomas Ives
A Note from Shawna: I asked Thomas Ives, #ShareInspireConquer pioneer and inspirational blogger at Bestowing Fire, if he would please contribute some writing to my site. Thomas is an incredible individual whose goal in life you will find below. He reaches my heart with all of his work. He is supportive beyond the page. He is yet another wonderful person I’ve connected with through #LinkYourLife and I couldn’t be more grateful. I am so glad to know him and delighted to share his voice on The Honeyed Quill. I hope you come away inspired as I always do.
Ever wake up from an amazing dream and then forgot all about it by noon? I know I have, except for one. Dreams are very powerful. It is our subconscious trying to tell us something. A lot of times we may not know exactly what the purpose of that dream was. Then we have that one dream that shakes us to the core and answers the question that no one else can answer. This is about the one dream I will never forget.
First an explanation of what happened before the dream. Her name was Cassie. I fell head over heels for her and she changed the way I looked at life. She had the same feelings towards me. We dated for a couple months and then we agreed to take a break so that she ‘could have fun’ before we settled down together. She was 21 and had 2 children and I fully understood why she wanted so time apart. I felt with us both crazy in love with each other, what could possibly happen. Then life happened…
Few months after we took that break in our relationship, she died in a single car accident. No one knows what truly happened, except her. Police said she lost control for her car, the car slid off the road, hit a rock and flipped onto its side before hitting a tree. She died on impact. This happened very late at night. That morning when I heard the news, I didn’t want to believe it. At that moment I hated God (I don’t anymore) but I hated myself so much more. I truly believed that I could have done something earlier in the day to prevent this. For months, I would spend every day thinking about how I failed her and that it was (in some way) my fault that she died. Then I had this dream…
I was sitting in front of a window. There were blinds hanging but they were open so I could see outside the window. The ground was dry and it was a sunny day. No clouds in the sky and could tell that there was a slight breeze by looking at the trees. It was beautiful. Then all of a sudden I saw Cassie’s car. She lost control of the car and it spun out in front of me. As soon as the car stopped against the curb, I could see that Cassie was dead. I screamed her name and banged on the window frantically. Then I woke up…
I woke up balling and wondering “Why the hell did I just have that dream? Was I being punished? Why am I being tortured about her death? “ A few days went by as I tried to decipher the meaning of the dream. I knew that I could not find the answer in books or on the internet. I was the only one that could possibly understand what my subconscious was trying to tell me in that dream. Then I figured it out…
The meaning of this dream was:
1. No matter what, I could not save her or prevent it
2. It was never my fault
3. To bring closure even though I didn’t have all the answers
Once I had figured this all out, I stopped hating myself and was able to move forward in life. Did this dream remove the pain, sorrow, grief, and sadness that I felt? Heck no! As I am typing this, I am fighting through the tears to share my story with you. A story that I hope will help someone else.
The next time you have a dream that makes you go “Huh?”, don’t blow it off. It might be your subconscious trying to tell you something or maybe even answer a question that you have been asking yourself for some time. Life doesn’t offer us a lot of answers to our questions but our dreams can.
Thomas Ives is a lifestyle and inspirational blogger at Bestowing Fire. If you have something positive to share, you can find him on Twitter using the hashtag #ShareInspireConquer and spreading light into the lives of everyone he brushes virtual and literal shoulders with.