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poem

I spent weeks wondering who you are. The domino days have struck in toppling distance. We are skipping on our own ideas Two players: the self and the shadow, an off-board game of Hot Lava. I never know where to land when I can see us both –in you or near you? Duality of self is curious; I find me on the mosquito side of the wooden screen door. I watch myself drawing identity –that four syllable path to the soul piece–from the basket of the unclothed mind. Shadows and worries danced in the lily-bright fields of the wedge-wheel sun. ~~~ This

I met you in a dream we tumbled trees high around us your hair in braids of meadow grass tied with wildflowers and laughter. I cried dew drops on each blade until the sun rose you rose you smelled of roses. We whispered as fire rode the sky all I saw was upward my heart strained my tears churned into butter your hands on me without shame my body shivering under the heat of that longed for connection I woke to my own voice shouting please touch me I’m ready

for my birthday give me solitude a chair to call my own no warm bodies running circles no eyes weighing seconds spent not returning a loving gaze give me no one to witness or swaddle cook for or kiss give me the skies permission to land near a cottage some secluded space send my laptop dark chocolate paper and pen just in case send me roses if you like I will sniff them but I make no promises to think of you except with relief you have not come along

Beige. That’s the color I’m seeing. You are not anxious. You are full on terrorized. You have no middle ground— If you speak and don’t get it exactly right the blowback will be fast, and from every angle. Decide where you want to belong. Forge your path there. People terrify me. And I’m not saying I want you to be afraid— I want you to give each fear it’s own sterile place. brutally, surgically remove the cancer, use radiation, –whatever you need— then leave it. Once you aren’t thundering from

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