If only this feminist hadn’t curved the nice guy, she could be a real woman! by Mila Salander Throughout my life, I have faced the challenges of working and living with men whose fragile egos required constant attention, pandering, and suppression of my own personality and strength in order to keep their masculinity secure. I spent many years married to such a man (we’ll call him David). The magnitude of capitulation required to prevent upsetting his self-image was all consuming, destructive, and oppressive. The challenges to David’s ego were omnipresent.