In what could only be the result of an influx of new mother hormones, I grew overwhelmed by my internet presence (admittedly not that great) and pulled back hard on all the strands of myself. I might have made another choice. Instead, I deleted the entire content of this blog. Fortunately, I still have access to the blog posts through wayback. I still have what I wrote of “The Docks”. I wish it was still here in the files of this site, if offline. People, you have to talk me

Welcome to The Honeyed Quill (formerly The Spire), home to the writing of Shawna Ayoub Ainslie. Shawna received an MFA in Creative Writing from Indiana University with a Fiction thesis on the Lebanese Civil War and resulting Lebanese-American diaspora. Her writing has appeared in Grist Online, Arab Comment, Racialicious, Medium: The Archipelago and was selected by Amy Gigi Alexander for the Stories of Good essay series. Shawna’s work addresses themes of race, place, abuse, mental health, parenting, faith, science fiction and fantasy. In addition to writing, Shawna undertakes unrealistic crochet projects, crafts

I hold myself away from the adventure of life. It is a roller coaster. I am poised at the drop. Here I am at my highest height gazing at maybe the lowest low. I resist the ride, hold my breath, squeeze my eyes shut. I will drop anyway. I will fall. And I will click my way back up, dragging and dragged back to the tippiest top. There, I will see how far there is to fall again. And, again, I will look at the peaks pointing like so many

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