Dear Shawna: How I Divined the #LinkYourLife Cash Prize Winner

by Shareen Mansfield

True story: I’m divine.

Shawna,

I prefer calling you Spock because I always spell Shawarama when I type your name. I’m hungry.

Anyway, so Drew Sheldon is the winner. I used a scientific method that I made up to choose him. I went to the mall for Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. I know…gluten. So, I knew you’d mention the gluten so I decided to get jelly beans. I wanted exactly $100 of jelly beans. Why? Who cares. They are Jelly Belly’s. I’m committed to this as part of my running fuel. It makes sense to me.

Okay, back to my method for picking winner. I apparently don’t have the weighing of candy down to a science. The cashier was nice enough to take out extra jelly beans till it was down to $100 for one bag. I still had to buy the extra because who wants my random assortment of Jelly Belly’s? I assure you it’s mostly toasted coconut. (BTW Don’t be suspicious of the green ones. They are not fart flavor. I swear 😉.)

Okay, anyway, so there were exactly enough flavors for me to assign each person who participated a color. I had the cashier who was now just wanting me out of her candy store pick one & it was Drew Sheldon. See. I drew Drew’s name by candy! Yum!

So he’s the winner.

Did I tell you I use jelly beans to make decisions all the time? They are gluten-free & fat free I hear or made up. Who knows? For once, I actually don’t.

This challenge is going to be pretty sweet. Do I get to confess my nursing stories? You think Ben will be mortified? Nursing is fun! What should I confess?

Currently I’m still at a fever of 103. I hope this means I’m hilarious Friday? Seriously, what song am I going to use?

What’s your favorite song from 1989?

Shareen

Shareen is the #LinkYourLife co-hostess with, no joke, the mostest. When she isn’t stomping ants on runs of gargantuan length (and later building altars where she cries over their memory), she publishes Open Thought Vortex Magazine, a “boundary-pushing” publication that is off the deep end with a splash of clarity. 

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