Thoughts on G*d (or not) I am outside religious channels – …

Comment on #LinkYourLife on Twitter and Facebook Every Friday by Michael T Heath.

Thoughts on G*d (or not)

I am outside religious channels – no pew can hold me, now. But I was quite the follower once upon a time, until that man who put his hands on me at a church-sponsored camp-over won that award the next day. ‘For Exemplary Leadership’ it was, and I backed away from both the back of the auditorium and the Church at once. I was sixteen.
My daughter was four when her mother committed suicide. Telling her that Carol was gone forever was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, wrenching my own torn heart as I watched a toddler swallow her breath and turn her face into my chest in silent agony. Although we weren’t church-goers, Emily had been brought up in a spiritual house. The death of her mother evoked a rage/divorce from The Creator by her, processed throughout her last 25 years into a hate/denial untouchable today. I don’t blame her, though I still believe. Just like love, betrayal is in the eye of the beholder, and what young girl who adores a parent and then loses them suddenly doesn’t hold mixed emotions?
I still pray, in my own way. I pray for understanding. I pray for help with life’s little disasters. And especially I pray for Emily – that the peace and love and commitment to my soul the Spirit gives me will one day reach her stony heart and pull the perceived dagger of betrayal from it for good, leaving her as free to choose to be a believer as I was way back at sixteen.

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